Shepherded in the Wilderness

Last Wednesday I came home to Elsie holding Christian. Evidently, his skin just erupted into a sudden rash, which has persisted even until tonight. That helpless feeling suddenly washed over me again. Elsie and I both went back to seeking the Lord knowing that was the answer as opposed to succumbing to despair. God answered both of us.

What God told Elsie:  persevere

What God told me:  rest

This morning I went running. I took a more scenic route that hugged some protected prairie lands. During my runs I try be silent and listen for God's voice, but this morning I was in more of a state of crying out to God, asking specifically about Christian. Plodding along, it was all I could do to keep my mind off this issue, and I slowly came up to something I've never seen before along this path. Squinting without the help of my glasses, I initially thought I was approaching two big sheep dogs. I was partially right in my estimation, as I finally realized there were two lost sheep that somehow found their way to the wrong side of the fence. I stopped to snap this photo. They were not far from the flock and the two burros that were supposed to be guarding them, but they were heading the wrong way. I don't know what happened to these aimless sheep without a shepherd - I'm sure a good Samaritan called the right people and got them to their home, but right then and there the Lord spoke to me. Jesus reminded me that He is our Good Shepherd, and He will take care of us. I realized that I was still unwilling to let go of control over certain areas of Christian's life. I immediately repented of that, but God wanted to remind me more about His role as the Shepherd. Not only does He guard His flock, but He cares for each sheep intimately, not wanting to let even one wander away and get lost (let alone two sheep, who looked like they were up to some shenanigans). Did I trust God to be the one to care for Christian? I feel like I have come a long way in that now I say I can trust Him wholeheartedly with my son's life and health. And part of trusting in Him is resting in Him, which is what He was asking me to do regarding Christian.

Later this morning I told Elsie this story (I had to run home to change a flat tire on the van), and she was then led to Psalm 78, which is basically a retelling of Exodus, the wilderness, and the Israelites moving into the promised land. It ends describing King David as one of Israel's shepherds, and the idea of Israel being shepherded is a common theme throughout the chapter.

    

52 But he brought his people out like a flock;

he led them like sheep through the wilderness.

53 He guided them safely, so they were unafraid;

    but the sea engulfed their enemies.

-Psalm 78:52-53

This idea of God being our shepherd is nothing new to the Christian walk, but Elsie reminded me of something very important about the Exodus-to-the-Promised-Land Story. God brought the Israelites out of Egypt with a "mighty hand and an outstretched arm." There was no doubting the wonders and miracles He did, just as there was no doubting the wonders He performed in Christian's body over this last year. However, the Israelites remained untrusting of God for some reason. As soon as they encountered adversity, they shrank and defamed God's character by exclaiming how He brought them out to the wilderness to die. They also believed that God could not deliver them again. I do not want to be like them as we are facing this adversity. I want to remain stalwart in my faith, holding on to God's promises and the truth of His character - that He is categorically good, and is our Good Shepherd who guides us through the wilderness and delivers us to streams of living water (Psalm 23). I believe that the promise land for us at this time is a place where both of our children can and will eat the fat of the land to their hearts' delight. I plan to see that promised land with my own eyes.

For now I will rest like Noah rested in Him.

Note:  I don't know if this is a coincidence or not, but I couldn't find any 'flat tire' references in the Bible. Last Wednesday when this whole rash thing started I blew out my bicycle tire on the way home from work. Today (Wednesday), our van got a flat tire. . . You know what they say about coincidences.

Do We Have What it Takes: A Father's Day Special

I never realized it until today, but this has always been a question weighing heavy on my heart since I was a little boy. This question has played a substantial role in shaping my life.

Do I have what it takes?

Today our pastor pointed out that all men and boys ask this question of themselves constantly. He used Noah as an example of a Biblical role model who undoubtedly faced this burning question for much of his life, and proved that he had what it took; and if he had not, then he and his family would have perished along with the human race in the flood. What was it about Noah that helped him rise to the occasion in such a dire time?

Do I have what it takes?

This question alone is the reason little boys look up to super heroes, cannot wait to go off to war, dedicate themselves to learning martial arts, or simply try to be the best they can be at any tradecraft. We boys and men are always aspiring to measure up to something that is outside ourselves, to find our limits so we can find some way to exceed them. We do it for big and little things alike. It is the basis of our competitive thrust. It is also what little boys want so badly from their fathers - to show them how to do manly things (woodcraft, auto mechanics, shooting a gun, etc.), so they can gain their fathers' approval. They want to hear those words, "I'm proud of you."

Have I had what it takes?

One of the first times I remember asking myself this question was when I first tried out for my high school junior varsity soccer team. I did not have what it took that week, and it tore me up for days.

I also asked this question when I joined the Army. Did I have what it took to make it through Basic Combat Training? Ultimately yes I did, but my resolve was tested and proved throughout those nine weeks. 

Today I ask this question of myself about owning and keeping a house, maintaining a car, being a husband, and following Christ. I hone my "life skills" for this same purpose, and it is this same question that either validates or disproves me as a good husband, father, or disciple of Christ.

This question daunted me seven years ago when I saw my daughter for the first time, and it remains fresh to this day. Do I have what it takes to be a father? Children can certainly be the most trying, but they are also the most rewarding. I have failed countless times, and I continue to fail; however, I know that I have also succeeded in many ways, and it is only by God's grace. 

I have found that this "success" has a direct correlation to seeking my Heavenly Father's approval (not seeking approval in the carnal earthly way of trying to find approval through works, but rather seeking the Father's approval by getting to know and walking with Him). This was Noah's secret to success in overcoming insurmountable odds to ultimately succeed at saving the human race. When the Father told Noah, whose name means one who brings rest, to build a giant boat in the middle of dry land in the face of certain mockery (I mean, really, what sane man does that?), Noah did it because he knew his Father; he knew His character and trusted the Father implicitly, and thus was able to rest and have faith in Him.

Noah was a righteous man, blameless in his generation. Noah walked with God.                                                                                                        -Genesis 6:9 (VOICE)

By faith Noah respected God’s warning regarding the flood—the likes of which no one had ever seen—and built an ark that saved his family. In this he condemned the world and inherited the righteousness that comes by faith.                                                                                                                                                                                    -Hebrews 11:7 (VOICE)

As I close out this year's Father's Day, and think about all of the times I have or haven't risen to the occasion, this message will continually remind me (and I hope that it reminds you) that it is not about us fathers - it is about us walking with and resting in the Father, and then this question about whether we have what it takes or not will be moot.

Happy Father's Day to all you fathers out there!! 

(based on the sermon by Pastor Greg Thompson, Smoky Hill Vineyard, Centennial, CO)

A Full Heart - from the SHV Men's Retreat to Fairplay, Colorado

      God has been talking to me about abundance. This retreat embodies abundance. Out in the middle of nowhere, at the foot of the mighty mountains in Fairplay, Colorado, it is impossible to not have a spiritual experience. The raw beauty of God's creation alone stirs my heart to want to abide in a place that constantly reminds me of this aspect of God's soul - the wild wilderness, broad skies peppered with bright stars, a chorus of wind and snow, wild denizens scampering to and fro. The quiet solitude away from the busyness of modern life also pulls my soul into this deeply spiritual realm. I don't want to numb my soul with strong drinks, gluttonous food, or the seemingly endless catalogue of entertainment that modern life has to offer. I want to go deeper.

     My heart is full. I am enjoying the brotherhood of men from my church group. We talk, sharing our hearts and thoughts. We pray and break bread together, read stories, shoot guns, hike, play Settlers of Catan, and watch favorite films. More importantly, we stir each other's hearts and share in this mountaintop experience. We would love to share this experience with our families - and maybe someday we will - but there is something unique and special about brotherhood and walking with the Lord alongside other dudes. Together God is filling our hearts up with His abundance (not the world's). And His abundance is His presence, in which we have no want. He's our shepherd, our shield, our fortress, our healer, our banner, our leader. We would love to dwell here, but we must return to our bustling lives, and hopefully take God's presence back with us to impart to others in valley.

Cheers to my brothers!

The mountains watch over the valley
Quiet sentinels looking over the din
An orchestra of trees speckle the hills
Ever singing with the wind
Birds of every kind flit and fly
Spreading seeds of every kind
Decorating His garden
Wind and mist and sunlight
Swirl in harmony
All of God's creation is alive
Each section playing in symphony
Directed by the Great Adonai
Who conducts His grandest opus
We are witnesses
To the greatest ensemble of all
Nature responding to Elohim's call

Place of Peace

5/7/17

Inspiration:  I have been reading through Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers.  In the past, these books brought me into bondage. This time around, I had a fresh perspective on them. Yes, they still present tough questions, many of which I still cannot answer. The most important thing, however, is that I learned how to temper my heart while reading these books of the law, and look at the spirit of the laws therein. I do not think this can be done without a strong foundation in the gospel of Jesus Christ, which is about love, hope, faith, and grace.

A Holy God:  In reading the books of the law, I saw a God that exhibited many emotions – love, patience, anger, and wrath, to name a few. Previously, I focused on the wrath, and came away feeling condemned and sorry for the Israelites. However, this most recent reading revealed to me that God’s wrath was actually in response to very specific, very egregious heart issues on behalf of some of the Israelites. I do not know to what extent these groups of Israelites rebelled in their hearts towards God, but it seems significant – I honestly do not think God would randomly smite them for little things. I also saw a God who was holier than any living thing. He was, and is, so holy that only a select few could approach Him, and they could only do so by the blood of goats and rams. And this holiness is the greatest power in the universe. No one and nothing could resist the Israelites with God on their side. They saw a cloud by day and a fire by night. They witnessed and felt first hand how God was a mighty tower, a fortress, and a stronghold from their enemies, as David and the other Psalmists often penned. If God is for us, who truly can be against us? That is how I genuinely felt after reading these many chapters. Yes, they also instilled the fear of God in me, but they also inspired awe. Could my physical afflictions hold fast before a mighty God? Or could the literal or proverbial bullies or enemies of my life stand in His way? These scriptures inspire me to say, “no way!” If God is for us who can be against us? One of the natural effects of having God on your side is that you experience His peace. This is not natural peace, or lack of physical conflict. This is a peace that literally transcends understanding, and renews the heart, the mind, the body, and the soul. And it is from this place of peace that we experience victory.

I also wanted to include other inspirations for the poem:

-Prince of Peace by Hillsong United.

-My lovely wife was my inspiration as she helped guide me back to seeking this place of solitude and peace through her example.

You are Holy

We are completely surrounded by your cloud

In your essence us you enshroud

A fiery pillar of fire as light

A fierce lion roars at night

No one can touch you

No one can see you

And live

You are Peace

Your name is our standard

“The Great I Am” upon our shields

You make war for us

Victory in your name is sealed

You set us down in a place of peace

A resting spot for our souls

You surround us with your angels

You watch over your flock and fold

You are our fortress

All the nations fear you

If you are for us

Who can be against us?

For you are faithful and true

I stand before the world

And say, ‘Fear God!’

Fear the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob

Tremble in fear

For His Kingdom draws near!

The trumpets sound

His armies advance

All evil flees at the sound of His name

All infirmity and fear run for the hills

At the sight of the Lion of Judah’s flame

His sword of brilliance goes into the wilderness

His trumpets pound fear into its foes

His hands make ready for war

Wherever He and His army goes
There is peace forever more

Good Friday Poem

A Father Wept

On the darkest of nights

A Father's heart shattered

He wept

He led His only Son

To the hands of the one

Who demanded justice be done

A Father wept

For His only Son

A pure spotless lamb

The scapegoat for all man

A Father wept
His heart laid bare
He turned and no more could look
His only Son He forsook

A Father wept

The One who spoke eternity

Who knit infinite space

Knelt before the human race

A Father wept

For the millions of souls

Who would enter His joy
By the brokenness of His Boy

A Father wept

Tears of joy

He beheld each of us in His heart

As He did from the very start

A Father wept

For the power of life
within His Son

Was at last unleashed for everyone

It is finished.

       Background: tonight at church I stood there waiting in line for communion with my wife and 7 year old daughter, Rachel. It was Rachel's first communion with us. While waiting in line holding her hand, God gave me a glimpse of his Father's Heart. The name Rachel means 'lamb,' and by implication 'innocent lamb.' Pondering that, I was suddenly stunned by the grief that God the Father felt when He forsook His one and only Son so that we may have life through Him. I have a new appreciation for God as a Father and for what He did for us.